why do you keep knocking on my mental door?

leave me alone

and let me go

i want to know

what is life like without you?

i asked to be purged

from you and your friends

get out of my system

i want more and you can’t seem

to help me

you serve no purpose in my life

other than to hold me back

let me go

let me breathe

let me free

-breaking up with fear – Dominique Sade

***

I imagine myself waking up and starting my day with my music, meditation, tea, writing, workout and yoga (not in any stringent order but you get the point!). Then I’d go off to instruct my yoga or fitness class.  I imagine myself making a difference and helping others towards a healthier path: mentally, physically, spiritually and financially.  I have a plethora of projects and workshop ideas for my community.  And for those who know me, I still want to design, and I will.  I want to live in a creative space, creatively creating lol.  In all seriousness, I don’t want to feel compelled to stay at my corporate job because of everyone else’s views on keeping a job.  I know a “good job” is hard to come by, however, should I let it stop me from taking that leap of faith?  How will I ever know how high I can fly if I’m trapped in this figurative cage of social constraints?  Bills, marriage, kids, health care, family, relationship, normalcy: the labels of the bars that, although some are what I want (or think I want) in my future, are holding me back from reaching my greatest potential.  Or, could I be overthinking?  I was told, “Have patience” (…working on that), or “Have faith and everything will fall into place.”   But, what is faith without work?  At the same time, I don’t know how long I can stay physically locked up.  I am beginning to change the way I think.  I know the universe is listening.  Once I put my mind to something; once I see it and believe it, it already belongs to me. Once I change or (how I like to put it) grow, I wonder if I would lose the ones I love along the way…

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